A DECISION TO CHANGE A LIFETIME
(School assignment: written by an anonymous 16 year old sister of a RAD child )
(The RAD child's name has been changed)
The most important decision I've ever been faced with was not for me alone to decide: it was a family decision. My family has done foster care for as long as I can remember, and we've seen many children come and go. We were now faced with a decision we had never been forced to make, and that was whether or not to adopt "Caleb."
Caleb moved in with us when he was only three and a half years old. He was still in diapers and drinking from a bottle. He had been severely neglected and abused by his biological mother and couldn't speak more than ten words, half of which were not publicly acceptable. It was a struggle at first because we couldn't take him anywhere. He'd get angry and scream vulgar words or bang his head on walls and doors if he didn't get his way.
One and a half years later, Caleb was making tremendous progress. Although he still had lots of issues, his speech had improved dramatically. His tantrums were growing less frequent, and he had even made friends with the little boy across the street. That's when the foster care agency dropped the bomb on us. They were going to terminate his biological mother's rights.
Now we had to decide whether to make Caleb a permanent member of our home, or to tear him away from everything that was familiar to him. I couldn't imagine life without him. Starting over in a new place would destroy everything that he had worked for. However, he had serious issues that would haunt him for the rest of his life, making our decision all the more difficult. Logic told us that this little boy would be trouble, but we had all grown to love him in a way we never thought possible. He made our home exciting, though exhausting at times, and things just wouldn't be the same without him. In the end, we knew what we had to do.
Each year on May 10th, we celebrate what we call "Gotcha Day." On that day in 1996, Caleb moved into our home, and changed our lives forever. Although we've had our hard times, I can honestly say that I have never once regretted our decision.
