Verbally Expressed by TLP (The Child) - Typed by TLP's Mom
Monday, March 3, 2008
I didn't like high school. I watched girls all over the school, and everywhere I looked there were girls with boys. They were always hugging, and sitting in each others laps. I didn’t feel comfortable in that school. A was always coming up to me and rubbing my back and chest, and every time I went away from her she would follow me. High school was a disaster! I don’t want to become an adult yet. All those kids think that they are adults and they swear all the time too. Am I more mature than all of those kids? Or am I just different? I don’t want to have a girlfriend yet, because I don’t even know much about girls or how to treat a girl.
If I become an adult, I have to make choices on my own and I have to do things on my own. When I go out in public I just feel like I want adults to be with me just in case something happens. I don’t want to get mugged, or robbed, or shot and I just feel safer with adults with me. Like when I am at the store and my mom lets me go away from her, I watch everyone. I’m afraid that I’m going to meet someone that I know, like my birth mom. One time I thought I saw somebody that looked like her but it wasn’t her. I would just rather have an adult with me in case I ever saw her, so that they could protect me.
Every time I go outside of my house, I’m scared that I might run into my birth mom. Even though I am big, I’m still worried that I can’t take care of myself around my birth mom if she shows up. I wouldn’t want her to come up and talk to me. I would want her at a safe distance. I wouldn’t mind seeing her as long as she didn’t see me. I would like to watch every move she makes. I would like to see what she’s wearing because I know how provocative people dress and that would tell me about her life. Like my mom right now is wearing blue jeans and a gray and pink sweatshirt with a hood. That tells me that she looks normal and she doesn’t look or walk funny. People that are provocative walk weird and show off their whole body. Like they are saying I have the best body and they are trying to pick up guys. Some guys fall for stuff like that, but I’m not one of them. I don’t like it when women dress like that. It’s hard to say, but I can just tell about them. I don’t like to be around girls that have their bras showing, and have their underwear showing. It’s like saying that they want to show the world everything. I like to see a girl’s body covered up and I don’t want to marry a girl who walks around like that.