Will They Ever Get It?
Ultimately, for our family, the biggest hindrance to our son's healing has been the outpouring of negative feedback and spirit crushing from the outside world, creating a bitterness and hopelessness in us, making it almost impossible to heal our son, because we, as parents, are so much in need of healing ourselves.
FRIENDS AND FAMILY..... WILL THEY EVER GET IT?????????
They heard about the adoption and said, "I am honored to be a part of this", not realizing it was not a desire for honor that prompted us to adopt.
On his return, we began teaching him boundaries, manners and respect. They said, "Give him a break, he does not know any better."
When making rules to protect him and keep him safe, they said, "Why are his rules different?"
When limiting his social interactions to promote bonding, they said, "He needs to be like other kids and do what other kids do."
When limiting physical affection with nonfamily members, they said, "How will he ever learn to love?"
When taking control of this sick, hurt child, they said, "You are being a control freak."
When saying, "enough is enough, I need you out of my life so that this child can heal", they said, "This is an unhealthy choice, you must be in denial."
When saying, "Your criticism hurt me", they said, "I wish I had friends as helpful and concerned as we are, it is for your own good and the good of your child."
When saying, "Read this material on RAD and try to understand what we live with every day", they said, "This information is extreme, who ARE these professionals? You must be nuts to believe this garbage."
When trying to explain RAD from a mother's heart, they said, "But your child is not like them, just a sweet, charming boy and he deserves better than you for a mom."
WILL THEY EVER GET IT???????????? DON'T THEY SEE THEY ARE HURTING HIM SO MUCH MORE THAN HELPING?????????
Being a RAD parent means sometimes losing people we care about.
If only they can read RAD material with an open mind, LISTEN with an open heart and have faith that God can do miracles................even without their help.
