Dear Birth-Mom,
Someday I wish that I could meet you, but if you’re still having problems I won’t want to be with you. So fix that damn brain of yours before it gets you in a whole lot of trouble. Stop doing drugs, stop having affairs with other people for money, stop drinking, and stop hurting yourself. You need to stop stealing from people and start dancing with more clothes on in a good place because it makes me feel icky inside when you show your body parts to other people.
I remember a lot about my past. More than you ever think I would. I remember the basement and that you opened up some kind of sex place to make money. I remember the bags of drugs on the table and that you were selling them. I remember seeing guys down there and women too. It made me want to hurl, and I was afraid for you.
You let people hurt me. You let people touch me inappropriately. You let people sexually abuse me. I remember you wiped blood on my body and arms when you stabbed yourself in your arm. It made me feel icky.
Even though you did bad things and part of me thinks you’re a bad mom, I still am mad at you because of the things you did to me. I know that you’ve gone through rough times, and you lost me, but it doesn’t give you a reason to hurt yourself again. I’m worried because I don’t want you to kill yourself. I wish somehow you would feel better in your life. I wish I could fix the world and make it perfect but that’s not the way to fix things. I can’t help you because you need to learn to fix your own problems. Part of me hates the things you did to me, because you didn’t have a right to abuse me in any shape or form. But I still miss you and think about you now and then. I am happy where I am right now with my family. My family is taking good care of me and I actually trust my family. I love my family and they love me too. But I still think of you and it makes me sad. I hope you’ll be okay and learn to fix yourself.
From Your Son
