Where Are You?
The sun rises and falls...
as each new day
whispers dreams of hope... peace... and love.
But... where are you
when the nightmares invade...
when the curtains of darkness silently fall over me?
Where are you?
The sun rises and falls...
and emotions change
much like the seasons.
Where are you...
as I step backwards
into the muddy footprints of yesterday?
The sun rises and falls...
as I run for shelter...
seeking calmness in the storms.
Where are you?
The sun rises and falls... rises and falls...
and the tears silently spill over
as I realize that I am the hope... the peace... and the love...
that can no longer exist without you.
Where are you?
Copyright © 2005 Suzanne
Okay... I'm a complete MESS right now...
and the reason that I know this is...
for the very first time in my entire life....
I'm not even afraid to say it.
Anyone that has crossed paths with me in the last few weeks...
anyone that has ever really KNOWN me...
would more than likely nod their heads and agree with me on this.
"Yep...", they would all say to you. "This time... Suz has really lost it."
A huge part of me just wants to run out and stand in the middle of the driveway
and scream... and scream... and scream....
until I know that the entire world hears me......
here's my cries...
"Now here this... all you Faithful TLP Followers....
Suz...
your Most Fearless Leader...
the Saint of all Saints...
NO LONGER EXISTS IN THIS UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!
She was last seen plunging to her death
from the top of one of the world's LARGEST rollercoasters...
NEVER to be seen or heard from again!!!!!!!!!
For the very first time in my life...
I just don't know where I'm going...
or where I need to be at this very moment.
Today... I see absolutely no hope in our future.
Today... my head is spinning.... and spinning...
out of control...
and my mind is filled with confusion... sadness... and pain.
Today... I need help!
Today... I need someone to pick me up... and hold me.
Someone to help keep me safe.
Someone to protect me from myself...
until these tears stop... and my eyes clear...
and I can see where I am...
who I am...
and where I need to go from here.
Today... I wonder if TLP has any hope for his future.
Today... I wonder if his head is spinning and spinninng...
out of control...
and if his mind is filled with this same confusion... sadness... and pain as mine.
I know that he needs help!
I know that he needs someone to pick him up... and hold him.
Someone to keep him safe.
Someone who can protect him from himself...
until his tears stop... and his eyes begin to clear...
and he can see where he is...
who he is...
and where he needs to go from here.
But... today... I just can't be the one to save him...
because, today... I can't even find the strength to save myself.
I've never been ANYONE'S fearless leader.
I've never been a saint.
I've tried to tell everyone that... time and time again.
I'm just a mother... and a wife...
trying to do the best I can.... with what I've been dealt.
But today, my mind... my body... and my soul are wracked with FEAR...
and I know that I can no longer do this alone.
Where Are You?
