Why Me?

by Marta Whitney

Have you ever wondered "why me"? Why did I unknowingly end up being the mother of a child who so desperately needs love but cannot accept it? Maybe if we had known what a living hell our lives would become we would have turned tail and run away screaming.

Are we being punished for something we have done? Is God testing us? Just maybe we have been called on to do a job only God knew we could do. How could we have known that it would be a job that would take every fiber of our beings to endure and leave us stronger in the end? Do you suppose God wanted us to learn what we are truly made of?

How many others would have given up? Yet we manage to hold on to hope. What makes us different? Outsiders don't see what we do. They are so quick to tell us to "send them back". They are quick to judge, find fault and give advice on things they know nothing about. We become lonely and isolated because we have learned that we can't talk to anyone, they don't understand. That is when we learn to talk to God. He becomes our hand to hold, our shoulder to cry on, and source of strength.

It takes extreme sacrifice, suffering and pain to remain steadfast in our commitment to healing our RAD children. Our job is truly God's work. I think healing is a gift given to us by Him. God gives us hope and strength to continue loving the unlovable.

Someday we may have our lives back instead of the chaos we have come to know. Fortunately we have gained something else we might not have had. We have a relationship with God that will carry us through the rest of our days.