A Conversation with Wilson
The plan was for the entire family to go out for dinner after attending the school conference. My husband and I left our 18 year old daughter in charge so we could both go to this "15 minute" conference for TLP. As we were leaving the school to come home, the cell phone rang. My daughter was screeching into the phone that we needed to get home NOW! TLP was "messing with" our oldest son. My daughter reported that TLP had been following him around... pounding on the bathroom door... throwing things at him... and calling him names. She also reported that her brother had resorted to going outside, just to get away from him, but TLP followed him out there and continued to "mess with him." The panicked message was, "Matthew was ANGRY and he was now CHASING TLP down the street."
When we got home, we were greeted in the driveway by three angry... screaming children. We made everyone be quiet and let all three tell their version of what had happened. Two of the stories matched. One was very different. I told my husband to take the two oldest children out for dinner, and that I would stay home and "take care of TLP." Which actually caused another problem because everyone started screaming that "I" shouldn't have to stay home because "HE" couldn't take care of himself. But after I got angry, and told them all to LEAVE, they finally left quietly.
As I was making dinner for TLP and I, TLP walked across the room to his friend, Wilson, and this is what I can remember from the conversation.
"I did not say Butt Cheeks to him?"
"What do you mean "I" was messing with Matt???"
"Just be quiet Wilson!!!!!!!"
"I was NOT saying bad words???"
Pause...
"What do you mean "I" started the whole thing???"
"What do you mean, my sister was right?"
Then there was a long silence and he was shaking his head back and forth...
"I don't know."
"I know it was my fault!!!!!"
"I know we could have gone out for dinner!!!!!"
"I'm sorry I scared you Wilson."
Then he quietly walked away to his bedroom and closed the door...
Wilson is a "Gourd" that we bought at the pumpkin patch over the weekend. I painted a face on him Sunday while TLP was painting a pumpkin. TLP sort of adopted him and has been having these interesting conversations with him ever since. He's been taking him wherever he goes, and even explaining a lot of things to him too. (Why we stop at traffic lights... what a home is... what parents are... etc. )
Another interesting note... TLP's principal took a large rock away from him at school last week. She said he was carrying it around the playground...talking to it. I believe that her fear was that the rock was soooo large that it could have actually hurt someone if it were dropped... or thrown. Interestingly, the principal had called the rock, WILSON!" After conferences on Monday... the principal gave us the rock to bring home. There was a face on the rock, drawn on with black marker, and "my name is wilson" was printed on the back.
Immediately, I shot off an email to Mr. Joe, TLPs attachment therapist. I was a little worried about TLPs new friend Wilson. Although I have to admit that it was kind of cute to hear him explain "life" to Wilson.... the conversation where Wilson was apparently yelling at TLP for messing with Matt... telling him he was a liar... and yelling at him for making him miss out on the dinner plans actually disturbed me for a little while.
I waited a few weeks to post this because I wanted to wait out the "Wilson Thing" and see what would result from TLPs newfound friendship. I now realize that Wilson is a normal healthy outlet for TLP... much like an imaginary friend... which both of my biological children had at a younger age. The sad truth is that TLP doesn't really have any good friends that he can sit down and talk to... and vent with. So... as weird as I once thought this was a few weeks ago... I'm actually so thankful that TLP does have his new friend Wilson to talk to now. If Wilson can help TLP understand that he is making mistakes.... and argue with him about the dumb things that he's doing... then that just reassures me that TLP does know the difference between right and wrong and that he does know when he's making mistakes.
I'm really learning a lot now that Wilson has joined our family. I'm learning that TLP does understand what makes up a family... why we need to follow rules... and what happens if we don't follow the rules. Maybe someday TLP will be able to use his communication skills with me and explain what he's thinking... and feeling. But... until then... I'll just have to continue eavesdropping on all of his conversations with Wilson. : )
